Friday, May 28, 2010

Ted called Last Night

Even on his birthday, Ted wanted to make sure everything was going to go right. He had read my posts, not an easy task if you do know Ted, he can barely find his e-mail. Ted wanted to make sure that today I add a few things to the blog.

First, he wanted me to tell you that I make it sound as if he made me change my life, or that he helped me to change it. In reality, he told me what he would do in my shoes. He says that he is proud of me, but that the changes made were mine alone. I guess that's true.

His words for today are these: "Don't do as I say, or do what I do, unless you believe it applies to your situation." 

Kind of powerful. Often times in life we think that doing what others say or do is right for us. In reality that may be far from the truth. Case in point, a pilot has been trained to fly and land the plane. You would not try to do either of these things as that does not apply to you.

I have said that I was sharing a house with other people. Now I have a home of my own. I needed to have a home of my own. You may not have that same need, perhaps you need to have room mates.

Now back to what Ted did do for me. He asked me what I really wanted to do with my life. Every time I tried to say that what I wanted wasn't even possible, he would tell me, "You can't say that, I asked you what you want. What do you want? Forget about whether or not it's possible."

You see, you can't get what you want or need in this life if you won't even define it for yourself, because you have already decided that it isn't possible. You have given up without even deciding what you really want.

Now you might say:"Well I tried and I didn't get it..." Yeah, I have been there too. Or "I had everything I wanted and I lost it all!" Yeah, I did that too. That's why I was living with other people.

So what Ted did for me is give me the confidence to try. What is the worst that could happen if I really sat down and decided what I want. I don't get it? Really, is that the worst? Because I already didn't have it anyway, so saying what I want isn't going to make my life any worse.

I got what I wanted. I learned to take a chance on myself. Are you ready to take a chance on yourself? Ted thought that it was high time I learned to take a chance on myself, and he was right. It was the best choice I ever made. Is it time for you to take a chance on yourself, to decide what you really want out of life? They say as you think, so you are...

Ted wants me to start ending each day with these questions. 

What do you think? How do you feel? What do you need?

Please feel free to leave us a comment or a question in the comments box.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Ted's Birthday Today

So the day started with a whimper from me, I hate getting out of bed now that I am not working and not sleeping well at night. Ted gets up bright and early, he tells me. His daughter made him breakfast and took him out to lunch. 

We talked after that, and he said what he wants to accomplish with this blog. I told him to make some talking points and write them down, but that today is his Birthday and should be enjoyed.

Ted's message today is to not stay in denial. We all have problems and things we would like to change about ourselves and our lives. Sometimes we look back over our lives and wish we'd done things differently. We talk ourselves into believing that we could fix now, if we could change the past. That is a lie, and we need to face it. If we want to make a change in our life today, then we have to start today.
If you want your life to be different, to change it for the better, you need to decide what you want to change, and then start doing it.

I wanted to quit smoking, but I kept trying to cut down first. The change I was making was a lie to myself. It was not quitting, or even trying to quit, it was cutting down. If you want to lose weight, you do not go on a diet, you change your habits. Going on a diet, is not going to work, because when the diet is over you go back to the old way of eating.
If you want to change your finances, so that you have more security, then you have to start by not spending more than you make. So look at your budget and figure out what you really need. Maybe you have more than one credit card and can transfer all of your balances to a single card. Perhaps you have a DVR and the shows you record are available on demand anyway. Maybe you have the A/C going when you are not even home, or you leave the TV on to keep the dog company while you're at work. Do not complain about your electric bill if you are not trying to conserve energy. Do something about it!

Ted's words for today are: "Quit denying the fact that you have the power to change your life for the better."

You can do it, and only you. No President or government or guide or doctor can do it for you. Your mom can't do it for you, and neither can your friends. Dwelling on what was and wishing for what might have been is not going to fix it either. 

In construction, and in the union, it's called woulda, shoulda, coulda thinking. The way we get things done is with Will Do, Shall Do, and Can Do thinking. 

Don't tell yourself what you would have, should have, or could have done by today. Decide what you will do, and do it. You can do it, if you quit telling yourself that you can't. Make your today count toward your better life tomorrow.

You have a right to be happy and prosper, do not deny yourself that right any longer. 

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

My Best Friend Ted

Ted and I started the new year with a new mission. The economy has changed and that has put us both out of work. Ted will probably return to work before I will, because he has been in the construction field a lot longer, and the companies in play know his name and reputation. Ted gets jobs done. 

The workers he manages may not like the way he talks to them and may say this is a cause for concern. Some have tried to bring him up on charges with the union or report him to the Supervisor as verbally abusive. They just don't know Ted. The difference is Ted is being sharp or blunt, Ted always tells it like it is. Sometimes it takes a sharp command to get a message across or a job done, or to keep you safe.

If you want to get something done right the first time, you will want to talk to Ted. He is a very smart man. Do not let him fool you with his good ole boy southern drawl. Yes he is good, that's why he has lasted so long. People know to call Ted.

That's why it may come as little surprise that Ted called me when I got laid off, he wanted to make sure I knew what to do with my time. He wanted to make sure I would use my time wisely. As he had helped me get all I have now with his solid advice, he wanted to make sure I wasn't going to lose everything I had worked 5 years for.

Yes, I know it doesn't sound like Ted, but all of us have more than just one side, including Ted.

I think my favorite image of Ted will always be his smile. When we were on the road crew and our lives were in danger at every moment, those smiles were rare. At the end of the day, he was just happy we were done and safe. On those days when he screamed at us and called us names to keep us moving forward, the end of the day was welcome and we couldn't wait to be free of him... and then he would smile and say "Thank you, you did a great job out there today! I am really proud of you. Get some rest, we gotta do this again tomorrow." It was the sweetest feeling... Seeing his smile at the end of the day. If you didn't see that, then you don't know Ted.

May 27th is Ted's birthday. I wanted to get this blog started sooner but time constraints and just where to start and how... Well lets just close this with a big Happy Birthday shout out to My Best Friend Ted! I can't wait for all of you to get to know both sides of Ted. He will change your life for the better, and maybe between his calls to me, my writing, and your reading, we can change the world.